The whole transcript from the Raw stand-up classic. Some of the funniest and best quotes I have read and heard! 
There’s a song out now called
“Got to Have a J-O-B
If You Wanna Be With Me.”And the lyrics go,
“Ain’t nothing going on but the rent.”Like if you went up and said:
“Hey, baby, what’s going on?”
“The rent, motherfucker.”“You have a job?” “Well, I…”
“Then get the fuck out my face.”
It’s here! I have managed to find the transcript from the Eddie Murphy stand-ups Delirious and Raw! Enjoy those memorable quotes….
“I wish I was a slave; I would fuck somebody up!”
“Shit..tell me to bale some motherfucking cotton.”
“I would have been on the street and shit..
“He would came up and say ey
yo nigga bale this cotton?”“I’d say suck my dick master.”
“Suck my motherfucking dick.”
“That’s right I ain’t baling a motherfucker.”
First the image came:
Xerxes Rolling
This made my day. Laughed so hard I had to go for a shit!
“Ayo nigga bale this cotton.”
“Suck my dick master!!”
“Shpigler The Shark” teaches Yahoo how you negotiate that deal with Microsoft! 
Some random photos that I found on my computer and that friends have sent me:
Another email and some more pictures. I thought some of these are quite funny.
Air Force cadet caught dancing! This is priceless…
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